FRIDAY WRAP: Boeing’s new CEO, Amazon’s assassination sales drop, unelected directors, machism is so IN, and Zuckerberg’s swear

Introduction

IT’S FRIDAYYYYY!!! And we are LIVE, and ALIVE. This is Ari the Data Queen, joined by AnalystHole Matt Moscardi, Jessie the Money Whisperer, and Hazelnut Rallis. On today’s weekly wrap up - Boeing’s got a new boss, assassination is bad for business, machismo is BACK, and more stuff!

Today’s show is brought to you by freefloatanalytics.com - everything you ever wanted to know about who runs public companies, all free.  If you want to know who to blame for that plane part falling out of the sky on your mother’s garden, don’t guess, look it up at freefloatanalytics.com!  

Story of the Week (DR):

1. Boeing names Robert ‘Kelly’ Ortberg as new president and CEO MM DR

2. Elliott offers Starbucks settlement to allow CEO to keep top job, CNBC reports AB

1. Elliott Management has proposed board expansion and governance improvement at coffee chain Starbucks as part of a settlement that would allow CEO Laxman Narasimhan to keep his position

3. Melinda French Gates says billionaires Ackman, Musk, Thiel don’t count as philanthropists

1. In an interview with the New York Times Sunday, French Gates specifically commented on the charitable giving of billionaires like hedge fund manager Bill Ackman, Block CEO Jack Dorsey, PayPal cofounder Peter Thiel, and Tesla CEO Elon Musk.

2. “They use their voice and they use their megaphones, but I would not call those men philanthropists … Go look at their record of actually giving money to society. It’s not big.”

4. Meta reaches $1.4bn settlement with Texas over privacy lawsuit

1. Filed in 2022, the Texas lawsuit alleged that Meta was in violation of a state law that prohibits capturing or selling a resident’s biometric information, such as their face or fingerprint, without their consent.

5. 4 hottest days ever observed raise fears of a planet nearing ‘tipping points’

Goodliest of the Week (AB):

1. Amazon CFO blames the Olympics and Trump assassination for slowing sales: 'Customers only have so much attention' MM DR

1. On Thursday, Amazon stock prices fell by more than 7% after the CFO Brian Olsavsky announced a revenue miss for the third quarter of this year. He also said the news cycle is partly to blame for this: "There's a lot of events that are occupying people's attention right now from political conventions to the election itself to the Olympics," he continued.

2. So people just buy crap when they are bored. And right now they are not bored.

2. Fake caller app shut after thieves duped thousands

1. “Russian Coms” platform allowed criminals to pretend to be callers from a bank or telecoms firm in order to steal money or personal details from thousands of people around the world. They have been shut down by the UK’s National Crime Agency

2. The body said that between 2021 and 2024, over 1.3 million calls were made by Russian Coms users to 500,000 unique UK phone numbers.

3. About 170,000 people in the UK are believed to be victims, with the average reported loss more than £9,400.

3. VCs for Kamala - on Wednesday Leslie Feinzaig, founder and CEO of the Graham & Walker Venture Fund, launched VCs for Kamala as a response to outsized VC voices like Elon Musk, David Sacks, and Marc Andreessen endorsing Donald Trump. It started out as a tweet that gained momentum with over 600 venture capitalists pledging to vote for Harris. Billionaires like Mark Cuban and Reid Hoffman were among the first big names to sign up 

Gen Z-iest of the Week (CD): 

Assholiest of the Week (MM):

1. Data DR MM

1. 25,000 US directors

2. Number of new directors appointed from 6/1/23 to 6/1/24: 1,875

3. Average time between appointment and election: ~4 months

4. Average TSR performance of any of those directors who have previous board experience: .473

5. Average vote in favor of those directors: 97.9% (HIGHER than the US average of 95% and global average of 96%)

6. Headlines (plural): 

1. Welltower Announces Addition of Andrew Gundlach to Board of Directors

2. NetApp Announces June Yang as New Independent Nominee for Election to Board of Directors

3. Nexstar Media Group Appoints Ellen Johnson to Board of Directors

4. Boston Scientific Elects David Habiger to Board of Directors

5. Kenvue Announces Board Changes with Two New Independent Directors

6. DeFi Technologies Appoints Andrew Forson to Board of Directors

7. American Airlines Names Howard Ungerleider to its Board of Directors

8. AEO Inc. Appoints Stephanie Pugliese to its Board of Directors

9. Arianna Huffington Joins Williams-Sonoma Board of Directors

1. Williams Sonoma last AGM was on May 29 - so Huffington gets 10 FULL MONTHS on the board BEFORE SHE GETS ELECTED - if she serves 7 years, the average tenure, she serves fully 12% of her total tenure UNELECTED

2. American Airlines had their meeting June 5, giving Howie Ungerleider 13%!

3. Here’s some other fun data - Mercury Systems had THREE new directors appointed between June 23 and July 2 of 2023 - the AGM was on October 25, 2023 - it’s a classified board with 11 directors, so management got to appoint more than a quarter of the board for ⅓ of a year with no oversight!  Imagine the decisions you can pass, especially since TWO of the three new directors were put on the M&A committee!

4. Thomas Gayner was added to the Coca Cola board and served 10 full months before he got a vote from investors - and they voted 39.1% AGAINST

5. Here’s your asshole - the shareholder democracy!  It’s not real because investors don’t pay attention and don’t take it seriously, so stop calling it democracy!  Directors and management appoint themselves and get rubber stamped by investors who are too indifferent to think they matter - can you imagine if Kamala served 11 months as president BEFORE THE ELECTION?  This country would lose its fucking mind - but shareholders pay hundreds of thousands in cash and options to directors BEFORE THEY EVEN ELECT THEM?  

2. Data:

1. Free Float uses of the word AI in selling its massive dataset and models: 0

2. Free Float capital raises saying AI, getting that SoftBank money, and pretending we’re not full of shit: 0

3. Total capital raised by firms claiming to do “AI” in just the SECOND QUARTER of this year: $55bn

4. Headlines: Study Finds Consumers Are Actively Turned Off by Products That Use AI and “AI toothbrushes” are coming for your teeth—and your data

3. HEADLINES AB

1. Marvin Ellison (Lowe’s CEO) says a throwdown with Calvin Butler would be a 'short fight' because the Excelon CEO is a 'little fella'

2. Marvin Ellison really wants you to know he's a chain guy now

3. Jane Fraiser (Citi CEO), Thusandra Duckett (TIAA CEO) and Other Finance Millionaires Brawl Over Politics

4. Ramon Laguarta (Pepsi CEO) accepts a challenge to fight a Venezuelan strongman: ‘He will chicken out’

5. Phoebe Novakovic (General Dynamics CEO) defends posting a deepfake video of Kamala Harris with a vulgar dig

1. In response to California Gov. Gavin Newsom writing on X that it should be illegal to digitally alter ads like this, Novakovic posted early Monday morning, "I checked with renowned world authority, Professor Suggon Deeznutz, and he said parody is legal in America."

2. Novakovic doubled down in two follow-up comments, writing, "Not to mention Pullitsir Prize winner Dr Head, first name Dick" and "Newsom should create an endowed 😉 chair at Univ of California for Prof Deeznuts."

6. REAL HEADLINES

1. Elon Musk says a throwdown with Mark Zuckerberg would be a 'short fight' because the Meta CEO is a 'little fella'

2. Male comments are completely meaningless': Online reviews have a massive gender divide

3. Mark Zuckerberg really wants you to know he's a chain guy now

4. Merit, Excellence and Intelligence: An Anti-DEI Approach Catches On

5. Elon Musk, Reid Hoffman and Other Tech Billionaires Brawl Over Politics

6. Elon Musk accepts a challenge to fight a Venezuelan strongman: ‘He will chicken out’

7. Elon Musk defends posting a deepfake video of Kamala Harris with a vulgar dig

7. ASSHOLE: MACHO BULLSHIT

Headline-iest (ALL):

1. MM: McDonald’s gargantuan ‘Big Arch’ burger contains two-thirds of your daily caloric intake—and that’s with no fries or drink - I love this pitch meeting, where McDonald’s, after jacking prices and blaming “inflation” and giving the CEO a year over year raise, workshopped the idea of not just a burger, but a BIGGER burger… like MORE BURGER

2. AB: Mark Zuckerberg Goes Onstage, Gets Excited and Says Swear Word MM AB

3. DR: One of the world's top airlines will stop serving economy passengers in-flight instant noodles over fears of burns due to rising turbulence

4. CD: 

Exhausting-est of the Week (JS):

Who Won the Week?

1. DR: Still KH

2. AB: Elon for sucking but still having a job

3. MM: BOSCH! Bosch to buy Johnson Controls air-conditioning assets in $8 billion deal and 4 hottest days ever observed raise fears of a planet nearing ‘tipping points’ 

4. CD: 

Predictions

1. DR: Boomerang Howard

2. AB: 

3. MM: McDonald’s appoints a Big Arch burger to the board, pays it $400,000 with a signing bonus and use of the corporate jet, and it serves 9 months before investors get a chance to vote it out

4. CD: