BIZ NUGGETS: DEI u-turns, AI and Facebook hear you cough, Calhoun’s giggle in space, and ESG proposal zero support

Live from Vanguard’s holiday tweet yesterday declaring “we put the ‘I don’t give a shit’ into Labor Day”, it’s an all-new terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants. Joined by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s show where “it’s mathematically possible that one of us is the next CEO of Blackrock,” otherwise known as September 3, 2024: BIZ NUGGETS and a new data drop!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only platform measuring board power, connections, and performance for FREE. 

DAMION1

1. In our 'We rewrote the headline for you: Ford family looks at its 28 Ford executives and 15 Ford directors and sees only two black guys and realizes it's TOTALLY THE PERFECT TIME to honor Robby Starbuck and spit in the eye of civil rights!' headline of the week. Ford execs make DEI U-turn, detour from 'woke' past*************** 

1. In our 'Ford, Lowe's, Deere, and Tractor Supply begin bidding war for hopeful new director Bruce Pearl, all four promising him a lifetime supply of pesticide-grown alpha male sunflower seeds at board meetings' headline of the week. Auburn coach Bruce Pearl doesn't want to know what 'woke' means, says Alabama NAACP*************** 

1. In our 'Hey Ma, Tell Dad to call Robbie Starbuck! Shell's DEI CEO Wael Sawan is Lebanese-Canadian!' headline of the week. Shell to cut hundreds of jobs in oil and gas exploration operations*************** 

1. In our 'Yes, of course, there's airplane tires made out of cream cheese and DEI policies written by Elon Musk's AI chatbot Grok!!' headline of the week. Whistleblowers, a New CEO, and Astronauts Stuck in Space. Is There Any Hope Left for Boeing?*************** 

1. In our 'Because I own it, you poor, low testosterone shitheads!!' headline of the week. Elon Musk thinks he knows why your X feed might be getting more toxic*************** 

MATT1

1. In our 'It's your fault' headline of the week. Elon Musk thinks he knows why your X feed might be getting more toxic

2. In our 'Massive AI development of the week: AI can tell if you're a racist by the color of your shoestrings' headline of the week. Google is developing AI that can hear if you're sick

3. In our 'New study finds pizza and hot wings were responsible for 33% of COVID death risk' headline of the week. New Study Finds Wegovy Reduces COVID Death Risk By 33 Percent

4. In our 'Big fat mouth says his capitalism is better than your capitalism' headline of the week. Kyle Bass Says Blackballing Oil Was Always a Lost Cause for ESG

5. In our 'Company appoints guy who rented cars to oversee advanced semiconductor strategy' headline of the week. Lam Research Appoints Ita Brennan and Mark Fields to Board of Directors

6. In our 'You're welcome' headline of the week. GOP-run districts get 85% of the benefit of climate law. Some still hate it.

7. In our 'They also heard my recipe for lemony broccoli' headline of the week. In Leak, Facebook Partner Brags About Listening to Your Phone’s Microphone to Serve Ads for Stuff You Mention

8. In our 'Really?  A country not having access to a middling and toxic social media platform makes it UNINVESTABLE?  REALLY?' headline of the week. Bill Ackman says Brazil’s ban on X will make the country ‘uninvestable’ like China

9. In our 'Is Dave Calhoun's laughter a "strange noise"?' headline of the week. The Starliner spacecraft has started to emit strange noises

DAMION2

1. In our 'John Chevedden has already filed a shareholder proposal at the company's 2025 annual meeting requesting the preparation of a report, updated annually, presented to the Corporate Responsibility Committee and posted on Wells Fargo's website, disclosing 1) the average days it takes to find dead workers at cubicles and 2) the feasibility of hiring high-functioning olfactory experts for each cubicle cluster. The board is already urging living shareholders to vote against the proposal because CEO pay already has an individual performance modifier that decreases the annual bonus by .00003% if average worker cubicle deaths are discovered in an amount of time greater than 2.33 business days' headline of the week. Wells Fargo worker found dead at her desk four days after clocking in*************** 

1. In our 'We rewrote the headline for you, part 2: Facebook Company Busted Showing Off Board of Directors with Board Committees That Actually Have Humans Inside' headline of the week. Chinese Company Busted Showing Off Humanoid Robots That Actually Have Humans Inside*************** 

1. In our 'When reached for comment Blackrock said, "That’s cute, but I’ve got sandwiches to make.” headline of the week. BlackRock’s support for ESG measures falls to new low*************** 

1. In our 'When reached for comment Vanguard said, "My cup of care is empty."' headline of the week. Vanguard backed no environmental or social measures in 2024 proxy season*************** 

In our 'MSCI announces new ESG metric red flag' headline of the week. Plastic in our brains: Study shows a 50% increase in just 8 years***************