WOKE WEDNESDAY NUGGETS: The Altman text chain! The COP28 nudge of the future! Elon Musking! Conservative Disney! And all the other nuggets...
Live from an ESG-shaped ESG Cake, it’s the ESG Industry’s ONLY weekly woke data podcast, featuring AnalystHole Matt Moscardi! In today’s ESG-flavored ESG Sandwich called December 13, 2023: biz nuggets!
Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps
DAMION1
In our 'Hey Ma, the next Superman movie is starring Sam Altman and he's fighting China! Tell Dad!' headline of the week. OpenAI investor Vinod Khosla says people should worry more about China than a sentient AI killing us off
In our '8% of CEOs in the S&P 500 are women just behind cartoon white men, which make up 24% of S&P 500 CEOs' headline of the week. A Black Twitch streamer says he got thousands more views when he changed his avatar to a cartoon white man
In our 'The egg, it turns out, featured a swastika on one side and a picture of Alex Jones on the other side, and was laid by Tesla's CEO Elon Musk. The board had no comment other than from the CEO's brother Kimball Musk who merely said, "Duuuuuude!!!!"' headline of the week. Thank goodness, Tesla's humanoid robot Optimus can now squat and pick up an egg
In our 'In the company's apology, it said the ads were meant to remind shoppers of female models with eating disorders and unsustainable fast fashion items that its customers can't really afford in the first place' headline of the week. Spanish fashion giant Zara is pulling ads that reminded shoppers of Israel’s war against Hamas in Gaza
In our 'One Tech CEO said, 'Wait, directors are actually allowed to fire us?' while another Tech CEO said, 'Didn't you see the end of the Sam Altman story?' while another Tech CEO said, 'So we can just fire the board if we need to?' while another tech CEO said 'Yes, but you can only fire female board members.'' headline of the week. Tech CEOs Freaked Out About Sam Altman's Firing in a Giant Group Chat
In our 'former WeWork founder and CEO Adam Neumann finally has something to celebrate' headline of the week. Climate activist Al Gore blasts COP28 outcome as biggest failure in history—‘reads as if OPEC dictated it word for word’
MATT1
In our 'WE DID IT PEOPLE: Paragraph 92, subparagraph 3, bullet 1: we hereby agree to gently nudge our way towards avoiding oblivion.' headline of the week. In a First, Nations at the Climate Summit Agree to Shift From Fossil Fuels
In our 'WE DID IT PEOPLE: Paragraph 17, subparagraph 4: With this agreement, we can say officially we are at the prelude to the beginning of the middle of the coda of fossil fuels' headline of the week. COP28 summit agreement hailed as 'beginning of the end' for fossil fuels - NBC News
In our 'What can G learn from S when E is taking a day off due to an overdose of the SEC' headline of the week. What can DEI learn from ESG? - ESG Clarity
In our 'What can S learn from G when G crashes itself into a taco truck on the highway?' headline of the week. Elon Musk's Tesla recalls two million cars in US over Autopilot defect
In our 'On the menu, we have a delightful cotton candy rubbed steak with french fried broccoli that we think pairs nicely with our Krispy Kreme tequila, Doughnut Equis' headline of the week. Doritos unveils nacho cheese-flavored booze that costs $65 a bottle
In our 'Doritos unveils nacho cheese-flavored airplane seats' headline of the week. Southwest Airlines celebrated for policy to give a full row to 'passengers of size' for free
In our 'Hypocrite angry at hypocrite for hypocrisy' headline of the week. Sen. Rubio slams corporations for remaining on TikTok despite boycotting X
In our 'FINALLY: SOMEONE will put an end to those pesky antisemites' headline of the week. Elon Musk is calling for Harvard's defunding
In our 'Remember kids, we parked in Anti-Trans lot near the DEI is Discrimination pole on floor Women Suck' headline of the week. Conservatives' 'anti-woke' alternative to Disney has finally arrived - Yahoo News
DAMION2
In our 'Merry fucking Christmas, assholes' headline of the week. Toymaker Hasbro lays off 1,100 staff as holiday season fails to lift sales
In our 'Merry fucking Christmas, assholes, part 2' headline of the week. Report: State Street will lay off 1,500 employees before year’s end
In our 'Happy birthday, idiots' headline of the week. Norfolk Southern to end relocation aid right after one-year anniversary of its fiery Ohio derailment
In our 'UAW's Shawn Fain called back 15 minutes later and said' It was clear I wasn't talking about Kimball, right?'' headline of the week. UAW’s Shawn Fain rips ‘the Musks of the world’ for taking advantage of workers ‘scraping to get by, paycheck by paycheck’
In our 'House panel subpoenas Panera sandwich-makers in ESG 'shareholder primacy' probe' headline of the week. Panera founder says employees today aren't motivated by the idea of making money for shareholders: 'Nobody cares'
In our 'Order new uniforms to make them less see-through? Now why the hell would we do that when we can tell our female employees what kind of underwear they should be wearing instead!?' headline of the week. British Airways told female flight attendants to wear white bras at work because their new uniforms are nearly see-through
In our 'His prep bag includes shoelace-less sneakers, a monkey-shaped cake with a file-sized chip implanted into its brain, and a handwritten note that says 'it's the jews fault'' headline of the week. Elon Musk says he’s prepared to go to prison if U.S. government tries to censor X
