THURSDAY QUIZ: Howard Schultz testifies that he's NOT a REAL billionaire and TAKE IT BACK, plus Disney's genius King Charles clause sinks DeSantis

Live from Delaware’s most acrid-smelling Chancery Court, it’s a Thursday “Game” Show edition of Business Pants. Joined by lord of the BS, Matt Moscardi. In today’s clean diaper called March 30, 2023: Our 2 favorite companies: Starbucks and Disney

DAMION1

Howard’s Last Stand? My favorite moments from his written testimony:

1. My father, a World War II veteran, held a number of low-paying jobs during his life

1. This is like Zuck’s “China”

2. In 1960, he had a home delivery route exchanging clean for dirty cloth diapers when he slipped on a sheet of ice, fracturing first his hip – and then our family – when he was promptly fired.

1. There’s a lot here

2. First of all, gotta love any official transcript with “dirty diapers”

3. Second, great image: slipping on ice WITHa handful of dirty diapers? Gross! And evocative!

4. Third, more amazing Schultzian poetry: “fracturing first his hip” … wait for it… “then our family.” That fucking ice!

3. I grew up in public housing

1. Gotta play the poor card if you’re a big billionaire. Just HAVE to.

4. The image of my dad, lying on the sofa and immobilized in a body cast has been burned into my memory.

1. That’s quite an image. But sorta comical too, no? In the movie version I’m imagining Eddie Murphy, fumbling comedically for the remote, tip of his cast stained in Kool Ranch Dorito dust

5. I decided at an early age that if I ran a business, it would be a company based on respect and shared success, unlike the company that had fired my dad

1. Wait, what?! This is some convenient early age memory! He decided when he was 7 that when he ran a Fortune 500 company he would union-bust and handout free bandaids!?! Amazing. And just splendidly fortuitous.

6. My vision for Starbucks Coffee Company has always been a company steeped in humanity, respect, and shared success.

1. Is now a good time to point out that Howard Schultz’s net worth is $3.7B while the Starbucks median employee took home $12,254 in total pay last year? Yeah, I guess now would be a good time. And “steeped in humanity”?? Gross. What is that image? Like a tea bag? Like a dirty diaper floating in a hot tub?

7. The term “partner” is not simply a moniker. Since 1991, we have issued “Bean Stock,” equity in the form of stock ownership, to all eligible full-time and part-time partners. To date, Bean Stock has awarded more than $2 billion in pre-tax earnings to partners who have used those funds for everything from a down payment on a home, to a child’s education, to health care for their parents, to a wedding or car – and so much more.

1. Currently over 400,000 employees… let’s say an annual average of 100,000 employees over 32 years…. That’s $625 per employee. So the real question is: would you rather have a wedding that costs $625 or a car valued at $625? Which is more dangerous?

8. BONUS: he mentions:

1. World War II

2. COVID-19

3. George Floyd

4. School shootings of Uvalde and Highland Park

5. The killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri

6. AIDS

7. Last but not least: Dirty Diapers

Quick Meeting Vote Quiz:

1. Most hated director?

1. Howard “Hugs” Schultz

2. New CEO Laxman Narasimhan

3. Board chair “Melody “Who Me?” Hobson

4. Butter CEO; Business Roundtable director, and former Blackrock director Beth Ford

5. Nominating/Governance Committee chair and Executive chair at that evil empire the Lego company Jørgen Vig Knudstorp

6. Chatbot CEO Satya Nadella

7. Pay Committee chair and former DOmino’s Pizza CEO Richard Allison

2. Most beloved director?

1. Beth Ford

3. Name the shareholder YES vote:

1. Say on Pay: 85%

2. report on plant-based milk pricing: 5%

3. ceo succession planning policy amendment: 21%

4. annual reports on Company operations in China: 4%

5. assessment of worker rights commitments: 51%

6. creation of a Board committee on corporate sustainability: 3%

4. BONUS: What is the favorite drink of both the outgoing and incoming CEO?

1. Doppio Macchiato (former CEO)

2. Doppio Macchiato with steamed skim milk (new CEO)

5. DOUBLE BONUS: CEO Security perk to median employee pay ratio?

1. 28:1

2. $342,182 to $12,254

MATT1

Disney notes:

• Disney gets the Reedy Creek Improvement District in 1968

• Effectively makes Disney owned property inside this particular district in FL its own government - no taxes were paid by local residents, Disney paid for all improvements, and the district controlled land, waste treatment, fire, EMTs, building codes, roads, etc.

• Chapek pisses off DeSantis 54 years later

• DeSantis votes to dissolve Reedy Creek, revoking it’s autonomy, to get back at Disney’s woke stance that kids might not all be heteros.

• Chapek is fired, a woker Bob Iger boomerangs

• Vivek celebrates

• DeSantis undissolves the district because they had $1bn in loans taxpayers would have had to pay

• DeSantis dissolves the BOARD of Reedy Creek and installs his own board of QAnon sycophants:

• A minister who believes fluoride makes you gay

• A mother and GOP funder who half wrote the anti-gay bill

• Three major donors to Ronny Meatball

• ONE DAY before the Meatball Board takes power, Disney and the original Reedy Creek board, hand picked by Disney over the years, insert the following into a contract IN PUBLIC to maintain the original board’s power:

• This Declaration shall be deemed effective as of the Effective Date and continue to be effective in perpetuity unless all or certain portions of the provisions of this Declaration are expressly terminated as provided elsewhere herein; provided, however, that if the perpetual term of this Declaration shall continue in effect until twenty one (21) years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, King of England living as of the date of this Declaration.  Notwithstanding the foregoing or anything to the contrary herein, this Declaration will terminate as of the date that none of WDPR or any of its Affiliates (or their respective successor entities) owns any real property within ten (10) miles of the RCID Properties.

DRIVE TIME HOT TAKE:

• Is this only possible because Susan Arnold and Christine McCarthy staged a coup to bring back Iger who’s deeply connected with the Reedy Creek board??

• Jane Adams was Disney public affairs executive during Iger tenure

• Donald Greer has served on the board SINCE 1975! 8 years after it was formed!

• Max Brito was selected to the board in 2016, while Iger was CEO

• Laurence Hames has been president at least since 2019, when Iger was CEO

• They all MUST have known Chapek, he was head of parks…

• Is Iger a secret genius?

• Who crafted that legal nugget??

•   Which board committee is responsible for interactions with Reedy Creek?

• The proxy was released Feb 10th 2023 - the contract was sealed Feb 8th 2023.  Reedy Creek not even mentioned in the filing. 

• Audit??  In which case, did we underestimate Safra Catz, audit chair?