TERRIFYING: 23andMe’s board, “dangerously cold” ice cream, and the governance US election

Live from an ESG-flavored pumpkin patch, it’s an all-new Terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants. Joined by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! On today’s Halloween-filled scary Independent lead Director called October 29th 2024: a scary rate the headline game and a Terrifying headlines quiz!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only platform measuring board power, connections, and performance for FREE.

DAMION1

Scary headlines game

1. 23andMe Appoints Three New Independent Directors to Board

1. Mark Jensen (LD & Comp Committee Chair): former executive at Arthur Andersen LLP

2. Andre Fernandez (Audit Committee chair): former CFO WeWork

3. Jim Frankola

4. Average board influence across 4 boards (Lattice Semiconductor, Cardlytics, Ansys, and Skillsoft) is 4%

2. OpenAI chair's AI startup Sierra gets $4.5 bln valuation in latest funding round

1. Bret Taylor has raised $175 million in a new funding round

2. One-year-old Sierra focuses on selling artificial intelligence-powered customer service chatbots to enterprises. It serves clients such as WeightWatchers and Sirius XM

3. Jeff Bezos Reveals Why Washington Post Didn't Endorse a 2024 Candidate (spoiler: the quick answer is Jeff Bezos)

1. “Dave Limp, the chief executive of one of my companies, Blue Origin, met with former president Donald Trump on the day of our announcement,” Bezos wrote. “I sighed when I found out, because I knew it would provide ammunition to those who would like to frame this as anything other than a principled decision.”

4. As he heads for the exit, Missouri secretary of state resurrects ‘anti-woke’ investing rules

1. In calling for the latest round of changes, Jay Ashcroft said there is “an immediate danger to the public welfare” if there are not guidelines in place cautioning people about investment firms that use ESG principles: “ESG investing opposes fossil fuels, pushes unionization of private companies, pushes radical racial and gender equity over merit, and flexes their influence over who is chosen to sit on corporate boards.”

5. AI will acquire a human form,' says Nvidia vice president (Masataka Osaki, the Vice President of Worldwide Field Operations at Nvidia)

6. Elon Musk's secret talks with Putin ramped up during his Twitter takeover: WSJ report

7. Google to develop AI that takes over computers, The Information reports

1. Alphabet's Google is developing artificial intelligence technology that takes over a web browser to complete tasks such as research and shopping

8. Jeff Bezos Reportedly Has Secretive "Personal Reasons" for Wanting to Escape to Mars

9. Woman sues JetBlue over ‘dangerously cold’ ice cream sandwich that she says cracked her tooth

10. Robinhood jumps into election trading, giving users chance to buy Harris or Trump contracts

11. U.S. stocks could soon trade for almost 24 hours a day

12. Elon Musk claims he can cut the federal budget for Trump by 'at least' $2 trillion

13. Tech CEOs hedge their bets and make nice with Trump

1. Apple’s Tim Cook phoned the former president to discuss Apple’s European legal troubles

2. Sundar Pichai called him to praise his photo op at a McDonald’s

14. Finally, let’s rate some Jamie Dimon says:

1. JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon says 'it's time to fight back' on regulation

2. Jamie Dimon says the global order is at risk–and raging conflicts could explode into World War 3

3. World War 3 has already begun, says JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon

MATT1

Terrifying headlines quiz

1. You really like being alive on earth… and then…:

1. Volcanoes don't cause climate change — but it could be the other way around

2. Climate Change Even Threatening Greece’s Butterflies, Food Supply

3. Polar bears are getting horrific injuries and huge 'ice balls' on their paws because of climate change, researchers say DR

4. Fall leaves look a little muted? Warmer, drier conditions are changing autumn in Arizona

2. You really don’t want e coli or some horrible plague… and that’s when you hear:

1. McDonald's bringing back Quarter Pounder after beef patties ruled out as source of E. coli outbreak

2. Royal Caribbean raises annual profit forecast on strong cruise demand, price hikes

1. The Arctic ice is melting. A booming cruise industry is taking advantage — while it can.

3. Threat of foodborne pathogens is growing with climate change, experts warn DR

3. You are an out gay human being working in a firm with thousands of employees, virtually all of whom are white hetero milquetoast or not out at work.  You’re already basically alone in a sea of bros, when you find out…:

1. Your CEO leads an anti-gay church, and apologizes only because the billionaire ex-CEO and chair has a married non-binary child (Fortescue) DR

2. It’s your fault angry white men don’t want to pay your products touched by your gayness (Harley)

3. Your existence in the office, not your work product, got your hetero white male CEO paid more

4. Picture this - you’re home, comfortably at your kitchen table, home made coffee, house is empty, on your Zoom calls.  You can shit in your toilet, you can choose to wear pants or not, you can be on call if your kids get a fever in class and pass out… and then…:

1. Being forced to come back to the office but the CEO isn’t there (Starbucks)

1. 9.5% of CEOs are ‘Supercommuters.’ But they tend to underperform—especially if they own a boat or live near a golf course

2. Being allowed to work from home… for a dual class dictator (Spotify)

3. Being forced to bring your kids to the office because you had two days notice to get back to the office (Dell) DR

5. These are your only investment options in the world… and you are horrified:

1. Boeing raises greater-than-expected $21 billion from new stock sales on pricing

2. McDonald’s $5 value meals save third quarter U.S. sales but E. coli outbreak hangs over recovery DR

3. Southwest Airlines must face pilots' union lawsuit over threats

4. Subway is seriously skimping on deli meat, lawsuit says

6. And finally, who is the most terrifying victor in November:

1. Trump

2. Musk

3. Harris

4. Jamie Dimon Says