MONDAY NUGGETS: Forget ESG! What is the point of ESG! Governance is hypocrisy! Also, TKO, Boeing, LVMH, OpenAI, Tesla’s governance problems…

Live from a snowy New England postcard, it’s yet another Manic Monday edition of Business Pants. Joined as always by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s ESG is the devil bag of smoked almonds called January 29, 2024: biz nuggets!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps

DAMION1

1. In our 'Best Shameless Plug for our Product that we didn't pay for' headline of the week. Tesla CEO Elon Musk says he wants 'strong influence but not control' in push for new share class

2. In our 'Don't Say Gay But Don't Ignore the Power of Gay' headline of the week. Forget the Term ‘ESG.’ But Don’t Ignore the Power of the Concept

3. In our 'What is the point of weekly FinancialTimes opinion pieces that ask What is the point of ESG ratings?' headline of the week. What is the point of ESG ratings?

4. In our 'Sometimes laughter is the best medicine when desperately trying to appeal to alcoholic homophobes' headline of the week. Bud Light's hoping a funny Super Bowl ad will win back consumers who boycotted the brand 

5. In our 'Is Now an ok time to complain about the fact that only 6% of S&P 500 companies are run by women?' headline of the week. Toxic Telegram group used Microsoft tool to produce X-rated fake AI Taylor Swift images posted on X

MATT1

1. In our 'I'll take A.) Vote them all out' headline of the week. How Tesla’s Board Can Solve Its Elon Musk Problem Without Overpaying - Barron's

2. In our 'We can tolerate antisemitism, warmongering, operating as a CEO at five different companies, and divisive political misinformation.  But we will not be held hostage.  That said, no, we don't plan on selling our stock or voting him out of a job, we're not barbarians.' headline of the week. Elon Musk's pursuit of a 25% stake in Tesla is 'delusional,' longtime shareholder says

3. In our 'Is sobriety the trans agenda?  Someone ask Kid Rock...' headline of the week. As Americans Buy Less Beer, Breweries, Bars and Supermarkets Scale Back

4. In our 'What's the reason for the return?  Just so you know, we only accept returns for store credit, but we can offer you a board seat if that helps.' headline of the week. Alaska Airlines CEO: We found 'many' loose bolts on Boeing 737 Max 9 planes

5. In our 'We have a longstanding commitment to our investors to provide transparency for all our documents not printed in ink, pencil, or crayon.  We take very seriously our policy of transparency.  The policy itself, however, is currently written in crayon, so we cannot provide it.' headline of the week. OpenAI went back on a promise to make key documents public

DAMION2

1. In our 'Hey Ma, the authoritarian United Arab Emirates which criminalizes same-sex sexual activity and the gender expression of trans people where sentences include a maximum penalty of death has gone woke! Tell Dad! And tell Ron DeSantis! And definitely tell Texas! ' headline of the week. ESG Implementation is Soaring in Dubai as Only 8% Haven't Adopted an ESG Programme 

2. In our 'What are they going to do when they learn flying less is good for the environment?' headline of the week. Conservatives Are So Scared of Diversity They’re Starting to Boycott ‘Woke’ Airlines 

3. In our 'Is this the best reason ever to reduce CEO pay?' headline of the week. Ex-Google CEO Eric Schmidt quietly created a company called White Stork, which plans to build AI-powered attack drones 

4. In our 'Which is worse: a red-faced CEO or a bloody customer?' headline of the week. GM admits to ‘numerous’ failings in Cruise robotaxi debacle that saw CEO embarrassed and pedestrian dragged 20 feet

5.  In our 'DEI ruined Blockbuster' headline of the week. Retail CEO turnover soars, and fewer women hold top jobs in the industry

1. Just 11% of incoming retail CEOs are women

2. The average tenure of departing retail CEOs was 7.7 years for men and just 3.7 years for women.

MATT2

1. In our 'Read the fine print' headline of the week. Read the explosive resignation letter sent by the chairman of Sports Illustrated's publisher

2. In our 'Read the fine print' headline of the week. Vince McMahon Cuts W.W.E. Ties After Sex Trafficking Accusation

3. In our '6.2 out of 10 governance score from MSCI' headline of the week. Norfolk Southern books $150 million charge for Ohio incident, and stock drops after profit falls below forecasts

4. In our '"Low Risk" governance rating from Sustainalytics' headline of the week. Bernard Arnault Names 2 More Sons to LVMH Board, Cementing Family Control

In our 'Investors may know bad governance when they see it, but who cares when there’s money to be made?' headline of the week. We are all hypocrites on corporate governance