MONDAY KETCHUP GAME SHOW EDITION: SAD BILLIONAIRES, AMAZON SELLS URINE ENERGY DRINKS, HAIR TO THE RESCUE IN VENEZUELA, SCOTTISH WATER, AND CORPORATE JARGON THAT WEIRDS OUT GEN Z

Live from your CEO’s ESG kitten emergency, it’s yet another Manic Monday edition of Business Pants. Joined by extra special guest stars: Ari the Data Queen and Jessie the Money Whisperer Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s moldy tea bag called October 23, 2023: Filtering the ESG News through a bunch of stupid games!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence

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The React to the ESG Business News Headlines Game

In honor of last week’ story: Citibank wins case after sacking banker over two-sandwich lunch claim

Just rate it 1-10 on your gut feelings:

1. Guy Who Stole Billions in Bitcoin Lived a Sad Life

1. "Jimmy wanted to be loved. Jimmy wanted friends."

2. A Bitcoin "original gangster" who stole cryptocurrency from the original Silk Road a decade ago spent lavishly — but lived what sounds like a sad and lonely life before he was caught.

3. As CNBC reports, Bitcoin thief Jimmy Zhong not only helped write the original code of the cryptocurrency and early blockchain tech, but he also pilfered a bunch of it off the Silk Road in 2012, when its worth was a small fraction of what it became by the time he was busted in 2019.

2. Amazon drivers’ urine packaged as energy drink, sold on Amazon

1. Amazon Let Its Drivers’ Urine Be Sold as an Energy Drink

2. Amazon sold bottles of urine marketed as an energy drink, a new documentary alleges. The company is said to make it alarmingly easy to sell dangerous items to children.

3. THE DRINK HAD all the hallmarks of a beverage sensation. Striking design, bold font, and the punchy name Release. But inside, each bottle was filled with urine allegedly discarded by Amazon delivery drivers and collected from plastic bottles by the side of the road.

4. That didn’t stop Amazon from listing it for sale, though. Release even attained number one bestseller status in the “Bitter Lemon” category. It was created by Oobah Butler for a new documentary, The Great Amazon Heist, which airs on Channel 4 in the UK today.

3. Tsingtao: Video shows Chinese beer worker urinating into tank

1. Chinese authorities are investigating after a viral video appeared to show a worker from Tsingtao urinating into a tank, believed to contain ingredients for its popular beer.

2. The clip has received tens of millions of views on social media.

3. The company said it alerted police immediately after the video came to its attention, adding that the batch of ingredients had been sealed.

4. Tsingtao is one of China's top beer producers and its biggest exporter.

5. In the clip which appeared online on Thursday, a worker, dressed in uniform with a helmet on, can be seen climbing over a high wall and into the container before urinating inside it.

4. Nvidia CEO/cofounder Jensen Huang says ‘nobody in their right mind’ would start a company, and he’d opt out if he could go back in time

1. “Building Nvidia turned out to have been a million times harder than I expected it to be—than any of us expected it to be,” Huang said. “If we realized the pain and suffering [involved] and just how vulnerable you’re going to feel, the challenges that you’re going to endure, the embarrassment and the shame, and the list of all the things that go wrong—I don’t think anybody would start a company. Nobody in their right mind would do it.”

5. Chevron boss says his company has changed the quality of life on Earth for the better: ‘We’re not selling a product that is evil’

1. CEO Mike Wirth

2. The 63-year-old industry veteran even described the company he has been leading since 2018 as “grounded in integrity and a deep belief in doing the right thing” in an interview with the Financial Times, before brushing off critics and making a “real world” case for fossil fuels.

6. Thousands of people are cutting off their hair and donating it to help soak up an oil spill in Venezuela that is so large it can be seen from space

1. Thousands of people, and their dogs, have donated hair to help clean up Lake Maracaibo.

2. Environmentalists will weave nets out of the hair to stop the oil slicks from spreading.

3. The tried-and-true method has been an effective oil clean-up tool for decades.

7. Scottish Water admits solar farms could use parts linked to China’s forced labour camps

1. Scottish Water has admitted that its solar farms could use components linked to forced labour camps in China, “in clear conflict” with its anti-slavery policies.

2. Scottish Water, a state-owned monopoly, has installed tens of thousands of solar panels it suspects are linked to Chinese slave labour at 66 sites around the country, bought for tens of millions of pounds.

3. They include a “super solar” scheme at its large water treatment works that supplies 565,000 people in the Glasgow area with drinking water. It said the 8,448 panels at Balmore in East Dunbartonshire, which treats water taken from Loch Katrine and Loch Lomond, cost £5m.

8. ‘A good cruise is one that doesn’t come’: Europe’s ports bear brunt of ship pollution

1. As health and environmental impact of cruise ships becomes clearer, Mediterranean ports consider bans and restrictions

2. Port cities around Europe are increasingly considering bans or restrictions on cruise ships as their health and environmental impacts become clearer.

3. The 218 cruise ships operating in Europe last year emitted more than four times more sulphur oxides than all the continent’s cars combined, according to the NGO Transport & Environment (T&E). Sulphur dioxide causes respiratory and cardiovascular problems and its pollution is a key component of acid rain.

9. Dollar General took back job offers from applicants with high blood pressure and poor eyesight, a federal agency lawsuit claimed

1. The discount retailer has now agreed to pay $1 million to settle the lawsuit, first filed by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in 2017.

2. Dollar General required people who held offers for roles as general warehouse workers at its Bessemer, Alabama distribution center to pass a pre-employment medical examination, the lawsuit said.

3. The EEOC said the medical examinations were "extensive, and often, highly invasive," and included taking vital signs, a drug test, a vision test, a review of current medications, "and a physical examination, including, in some instances, genital examination of job applicants."

4. The retailer rescinded job offers for some qualified individuals with disabilities, even when these wouldn't affect their ability to safely carry out the job, the EEOC's suit claimed. These included offer-holders whose blood pressure exceeded 160/100 or who didn't have at least 20/50 vision in both eyes, according to the lawsuit.

10. Don't Say Gay' Florida lawmaker sentenced to federal prison for fraud, other crimes

1. Former Florida state Rep. Joseph Harding has been sentenced to 4 months in federal prison for wire fraud, money laundering, and making false statements in connection with a COVID-19 relief fraud.

2. The theft of any amount of taxpayer funds is inexcusable,” U.S. Attorney Jason Coody said. “However, the defendant’s deceptive acts of diverting emergency financial assistance from small businesses during the pandemic is simply beyond the pale.”

3. The feds said Harding, 36, participated in a scheme to defraud the Small Business Administration and got a COVID-related loan through fraud.

11. Actors have been warned that wearing 2023's popular Halloween costumes would violate the strike

1. For performers who are still on strike, Halloween this year won’t be about keeping up with the zeitgeist. The Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) has asked members to steer clear of dressing up as characters from “struck content.” That means no Barbie-Ken couples, no Wednesday Adams breaking into iconic dance sequences, and definitely no Marvel superheroes.

2. To avoid violating the strike, they should “choose costumes inspired by generalized characters and figures — ghost, zombie, spider, etc.” the union warned.

3. Those who forgo the guidance and still choose to dress up as movie and TV characters have been asked to not post their photos on social media. The reasoning is likely that the public endorsement treads on the territory of publicity or promotional activity—things that are not allowed, in addition to shooting and auditioning, during the strikes.

The Corporate Jargon Pop Quiz Game

8 examples of corporate jargon and phrases that weird out Gen Z

1. Blue-sky thinking

2. Boiling the ocean

3. A quick flag

4. Ducks in a row

5. Herding cats

6. Low-hanging fruit

7. Singing from the same hymn sheet

8. Move the needle