FRIDAY WRAP: OpenAI week, CalPERS vs. Exxon, Meta’s AI bro board, and Google’s blinker fluid

Introduction

IT’S FRIDAYYYYY!!! And we are LIVE, and ALIVE. This is Ari the Data Queen, joined by AnalystHole Matt Moscardi, Jessie the Money Whisperer, and Hazelnut Rallis. On today’s weekly wrap up: 

Story of the Week (DR):

1. OpenAI week: AB MM

1. Sam Altman's self-own with ScarJo reveals a troubling question about OpenAI: What's with these clowns?

2. The Scarlett Johansson dispute suggests a pattern for OpenAI and Sam Altman: Maybe we should be worried that the company ushering in AI’s next wave doesn’t seem entirely honest

3. Sam Altman Ignoring Scarlett Johansson's Lack of Consent Shows Us Exactly What Type of Person He Really Is

4. After Spending Years Relentlessly Chasing Fame, Sam Altman Complains That He's Getting Recognized In Public Too Much

5. OpenAI Employees Forced To Sign NDA Preventing Them From Ever Criticizing Company

1. OpenAI used stock to silence dissent

6. African Workers Doing OpenAI's Training Say They're Being Subjected To "Modern Day Slavery": "Us Big Tech Companies Are Systemically Abusing And Exploiting African Workers."

7. OpenAI cofounder says artificial general intelligence is coming fast — and needs some 'reasonable limits'

8. Leading tech companies sign AI safety pledges

1. Ex-Google CEO Eric Schmidt has an easy solution to the terrifying idea of AI with free will: "We're going to unplug them."

2. Mark Zuckerberg assembles team of tech executives for AI advisory council: The group will advise Meta on its AI and product developments

2. Glass Cliff Alert: FDIC Chair Martin Gruenberg says he will resign after hostile workplace claims

1. An outside report had found evidence of a “misogynistic” and “patriarchal” culture at the banking regulator

2. Kristin Johnson emerges as a leading candidate to be new US FDIC chair

3. US sues Ticketmaster owner Live Nation and seeks break-up of alleged monopoly

1. Promotion and ticketing company has faced scrutiny for years, particularly after it botched ticket sales to Taylor Swift’s Eras tour

4. Late last week but I think our show went out before they announced the results: Boeing shareholders vote to approve $33 million CEO pay package; reelect entire board

Goodliest of the Week (AB):

1. Matt is still wrong

1. Disneyland character and parade performers vote to unionize by wide margin, setting up Actors’ Equity to represent 1,700 workers

2. Malaysia Airlines union calls for CEO to resign

2. CalPERS to vote against Exxon board members DR MM

3. US sues Ticketmaster owner Live Nation and seeks break-up of alleged monopoly

Assholiest of the Week (MM):

1. Data: AB DR

1. age: 42 years old

2. race: White

3. Gender: male

4. Occupation: CEO of major tech startup and angel investor

1. Meta created an AI advisory council that’s composed entirely of White men

2. Pat Collison, cofounder of Stripe

3. Nat Friedman, ex GitHub CEO

4. Tobi Lutke, CEO of Shopify

5. Charlie Songhurst, angel investor and ex-MSFT

2. Data:

1. +$10,173,341 salary increase

2. 62% agree

1. Boeing Says Cash Flow Is Worse Than It Thought

1. The announcement miraculously came AFTER the AGM

2. The CFO says they will be cash flow negative on the year - as in they will not make money - as in they suck so bad they can’t do their jobs

3. Data:

1. As a long-term growth investor, our interests are largely delegated to the board. 

2. The board’s purpose is to ensure the company’s prosperity. 

3. As a minimum, we expect the board to effectively fulfill its responsibilities, which include board composition and succession planning, capital allocation parameters, executive remuneration, and its audit and control function. 

4. It should provide support and oversight of the executive management team in implementing the business strategy, bringing different views, perspectives and challenge. 

5. At the same time, it should protect the interests and investments of the company’s shareholders and ensure a business’ sustainability

1. Tesla investor Scottish Mortgage to back Musk's $56 bln pay package

1. Remind me again how a totally compromised board doing drugs with the CEO who’s threatening to leave the company and take his AI company with him if he doesn’t get 25% of the company as compensation?

Headline-iest (ALL):

1. DR

1. Headline Ari missed: A Single Herd Of Bison Can Help Capture C02 From Over 40,000 Cars, Scientists Find

2. Headline Matt missed: American Airlines backtracks after blaming child for being filmed in bathroom: says an ‘outside lawyer’ made an error blaming a 9-year-old for not seeing a hidden camera in airplane bathroom

1. The airline claimed that one of the plaintiffs, a 9-year-old girl, was recorded in the bathroom through her “own fault and negligence” and “[the] Plaintiff’s use of the compromised lavatory, which she knew or should have known contained a visible and illuminated recording device.”

3. Headline Jessie the Money Whisperer missed: Microplastics Found In Every Human Testicle

2. AB

1. Coke’s Attached Bottle Caps Keep Hitting Soda Drinkers in the Face

2. Microsoft Copilot will watch you play Minecraft, tell you what you’re doing wrong

3. MM

1. Google’s Search AI Recommends Changing Your Car’s Blinker Fluid, Which Is a Made Up Thing That Does Not Exist MM DR

Who Won the Week?

1. DR: Women at the FDIC?

2. AB: Major bank CEO says he only took his $4.2M job on the condition he could work from home

3. MM: Sustainability Chiefs - Sustainability Chiefs Say Their Roles Have Become More Complex and Relevant - congrats on being relevant!

Predictions

1. DR: Bison testicles save planet by storing all known CO2 and microplastics

2. AB: Taylor Swift will start her own ticketing business

3. MM: Rather than retraining its AI, Google launches a line of blinker fluid