CORPORATE THEATER: Woke Company or Not Woke Company?

This week on the show we take a deep dive into the political theater that is state treasurers and attorneys general and even governors boycotting ESG and so-called woke corporations. This sketch was inspired by an op-ed from the wall street journal written by Dave Seminara called: “What I Wouldn’t Give for a Shave That Isn’t Woke: From my closet to my bathroom, my house is full of leftist brands. It’s time to do something about it.” Dave’s ESG expertise and whether a corporation is woke or not seemingly comes from his prolific background as an author where his most notable subjects are silly stories from his travels and Swiss tennis player Roger Federer. So congratulations Wall Street Journal for once again proving yourself to be extremely un-serious about your field of expertise.

Back to travel writer Dave Seminara. Sorry, travel and Roger Federer writer Dave Seminara. Dave keeps a completely arbitrary list of what he deems to be “woke companies.” The list, thankfully for Dave, lacks a methodology–yes, that’s right, Dave! leave methodologies to the eggheads in the ESG industry who take their jobs seriously–the woke companies list is composed of companies that, say pulled advertising from Elon Musk’s Twitter or supported LGBTQ causes. Unfortunately, there are no criteria on what it means for a corporation to “support” LGBTQ causes but again, we’re drowning ourselves in pesky semantics. In other words, Dave’s “woke companies” list is a snowflake list created by a right-wing and highly triggered snowflake. So this sketch is in honor of Dave and features a meeting of four state treasurers trying to determine which corporations are woke or not.