CORPORATE THEATER: Earnings Conference Calls! Domino's Pizza and The Boston Beer Company!

Corporate Theater
Written By Matt Moscardi

This week on the show: Earnings Call Transcripts! Need I say more? Why not? First Quarter 2023 Earnings Call Transcripts Dramatized! Finally!

Up first, have you ever wondered what Domino's Pizzas’ Q1 2023 Earnings Conference Call would sound like as a horrible game show filled with 493 random sound effects? Of course you have! So here you have it: the abridged version of Dominos Earnings Call from two weeks ago, featuring actual language from the actual conference call.

Let’s end today’s show with ANOTHER EARNINGS CONFERENCE CALL! In honor of the pitiful scandal at Anheuser-Busch involving trans activist Dylan Mulvaney and the triggered unwoke rightwing, we decided to focus on a more lighthearted affair: the earnings conference call at The Boston Beer Company. And yes, you guessed it! We are so uncreative that we decided to dramatize the call as a bunch of drunken idiots! You’re welcome!

Matt Moscardi
Previous

THE GOOD GAME: COVID-19 emergency is over, Starbucks charging for "no water" Refreshers, WNBA team values up, and the Pixies
Next

WOKE WEDNESDAY: ThredUP's dual class Long-Term stocks, Ohio bans discussion of climate change, Credit Suisse joins the UBS board, plus CME group's 23 person board