BIZ NUGGETS: Weekend roundup including Boeing’s missing airplane wall, Ackman’s soft logic, OpenAI admits to stealing, and ESG in Kentucky
Live from an ESG-shaped Bill Ackman blow-up doll, it’s yet another Manic Monday edition of Business Pants. Joined as always by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s cornucopia of corporate governance delight called January 8, 2024: biz nuggets!
Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps
DAMION1
In our 'The resignation of Harvard President Claudine Gay could have been 'much less tragic' if she had been a white man' headline of the week. The Alaska Airlines flight that lost a chunk of the plane mid-flight could have been 'much more tragic' if someone was seated next to the door
In our 'The resignation of Harvard President Claudine Gay could have been 'much less tragic' if Bill Ackman was seated next to the door in the Alaska Airlines flight that lost a chunk of the plane mid-flight' headline of the week. The Alaska Airlines flight that lost a chunk of the plane mid-flight could have been 'much more tragic' if someone was seated next to the door, NTSB says
In our 'White Supremacists hit back at Bill Ackman and Elon Musk and Lululemon founder's anti-DEI comments: They 'DO reflect our company views'' headline of the week. Lululemon hits back at founder's anti-DEI comments: They 'do not reflect our company views'
Chip WIlson
In our 'Bill Ackman is investigating whether it is a fake black woman who was hired as part of a fake-DEI initiative ' headline of the week. A crypto fund appears to have invented a fake CEO to help trick investors
In our 'In a world where only 0.2% of directors fail to get reelected we finally found a reason for a board member to not put herself up for election. And please don't ask if it was a black woman' headline of the week. Elon Musk's drug use was so concerning it prompted a Tesla director to forgo a reelection bid, WSJ reports
Linda Johnson Rice
MATT1
In our 'KIDS! GET IN HERE, IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!! How many times have a told you not to play with something that fell from the sky, now go wash your hands.' headline of the week. Critical piece of Alaska Airlines Boeing plane found in Portland school teacher's backyard
In our 'In 2027, I heard that George RR Martin plans to release a new Game of Thrones novel if he isn't dead. But this time, I bet he's going to use a black women to edit the book. That's so fucking woke. I'm definitely boycotting the book and everything Martin does from now on.' headline of the week. Upcoming ‘Star Wars’ Film Attacked As ‘Woke’ By Right-Wing Critics Over Director’s Feminist Comments
In our 'White Justice Billionaires are fighting it out for the future of brown people and lady bits - WHO WILL WIN' headline of the week. Elon Musk and Mark Cuban duel over 'woke' company diversity policies as D-E-I is on d-e-cline - The Hill
In our 'It's IMPOSSIBLE for me to get that television unless I take it from you' headline of the week. ‘Impossible’ to create AI tools like ChatGPT without copyrighted material, OpenAI says
In our 'We rate 41st for physical and behavioral health outcomes, 42nd for high school graduation and quality of life, 43rd for our economy, 45th for financial stability, 44th for employment. Also, we have no ESG investments. What should we do guys? Any ideas?' headline of the week. Why are Kentucky conservatives taking aim at ‘woke’ capitalism, ESG investing?
DAMION2
In our 'What could go wrong when someone with Covid and a few untreated wounds on their fingers hands you their unwashed Make America Great Again mug?' headline of the week. Starbucks workers say they're worried about the new reusable cup program
In our 'Hey Ma, is it Thursday yet? I'm closing on a new condo in South Beach. Tell Dad!' headline of the week. Top CEOs will make more in the first 4 days of 2024 than the average worker makes in a year, analysis shows
In our 'It sounds like Niraj Shah wants you to ignore the fact that Wayfair's share price is down over 80% in the past 3 years, from roughly $350 to $50, that women on his board hold only 9% total influence despite the fact that women make 70% of household purchasing decisions, and that there is nobody else to blame other than himself and his co-founder co-chair Cornell buddy Steven Conine because they control 76% of the company's voting power' headline of the week. Wayfair's CEO Wants Staff to Work Harder. Your Boss Probably Agrees.
In our 'Why is Ms. Templeton making a silent throat-slashing gesture in the corner? Look, now she's doing the fake gunshot to the head! Make her stop!' headline of the week. Microsoft executive Dee Templeton joins OpenAI board as a non-voting observer
The observer position means Microsoft's representative can attend OpenAI's board meetings and access confidential information
MATT2
In our 'Hey Ma! The light's blinking again! The turkey's done! Or I'm pregnant! Or it's time for Aunt Maude's pills! Or I have cataracts! The light's been blinking for like three hours, tell dad!' headline of the week. Boeing jetliner that lost large panel mid-air was restricted from flights over water due to warning light
In our 'Now, I've got all this lumber, it's time to build at last!! By the way, are any of you a carpenter? Does anyone know what we're building? Did someone do some blueprints? Gus said you knew what we were doing, I don't know what the plan is here. Wait, we're building a barn? Does anyone have any cows? Should we have used cement for the foundation? Someone just tell me what to do please.' headline of the week. ESG needs purpose or it’s pointless: fund managers
In our 'Thanks for coming to this OpenAI all hands meeting, we have a bit of a crisis. When I typed in "favorite jew" in the AI and it came up with a picture of Jesus, we know we're getting it right. But when I did "black bear", the picture was of Don Lemon, and he's not even hairy or fat, so clearly we have some problems. Are we stealing the right copyrights here? We need to get this right.' headline of the week. Generative AI models can now create replicas of trademarked characters with prompts as simple as 'videogame Italian'
In our 'Your tuna sandwich is horrible. It's a scandal and a stain on the reputation of our office air quality. It's also a near certainty that I brought tuna fish, but with different pickles. My pickles might be lazy, but it's certainly not a crime. Your tuna fish is the root cause of anti-semitism.' headline of the week. Bill Ackman says it is a 'near certainty' that academics will improperly cite others' work after his wife admitted to plagiarism
In our 'In a press release, the board stated, "we are aware of issues regarding potential substance abuse during company events by our CEO. However, we stress that the company events in questions weren't this SPECIFIC company, it was the CEO's OTHER company. Also, our CEO's brother has attested to the fact that they only OCCASIONALLY use drugs, but only after the company is asleep."' headline of the week. SpaceX executives worried Elon Musk was on drugs during 'cringeworthy' all-hands meeting, WSJ reports
