BIZ NUGGETS ft Tesla’s Giant Wiper, Starliner’s one way trip, AI triple meetings, Dolan hires self, an Autodesk quiz, and sidelining nerds

Live from the Jeffrey Sonnenfeld Lab of Laser-Focused CEOs who smell like champagne and roses, it’s an all-new terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants. Joined by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s Arjuna-flavored Audit Committee called June 25, 2024: Biz Nuggets and the Data Throwdown

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only platform measuring board power, connections, and performance for FREE. If you are curious if your directors actually generate shareholder returns and how big the gender power gap is, go to freefloatanalytics.com and sign up.

DAMION1​​ 

Nuggets

1. In our 'Does Uber Eats deliver to UPS trucks? I'll take 25 Blizzards and a god damn Air Conditioner' headline of the week. Some UPS drivers still waiting for air conditioning in trucks as temperatures soar nationwide 

2. In our 'Tesla has officially changed Elon Musk's title again: He is no longer CEO or Technoking but simply known now as the Giant Wiper' headline of the week. The Cybertruck faces another setback as it recalls more than 11,000 vehicles over its giant wiper

3. In our 'Tesla’s Giant Wiper Elon Musk promises Fully Autonomous Self-Writing Number 2 Pencils by the first quarter of 2026' headline of the week. Car dealerships in North America revert to pens and paper after cyberattacks on software provider 

4. In our 'Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun chuckled, "They're just like me now! I have no scheduled last day as CEO either! Tell them I am laser-focused on wandering back and forth from my desk to the coffee machine trying to look busy."' headline of the week. Astronauts from Boeing's Starliner were supposed to be in space for 8 days. Now they're stuck there with no scheduled return date 

5. In our 'Hey Ma, Another homeless graduate from the Rhode Island School of Design wants our empty Dr. Pepper cans. Tell Dad!' headline of the week. AI could kill creative jobs that ‘shouldn’t have been there in the first place,’ OpenAI’s CTO says

MATT1

Nuggets

• In our 'We've asked the cleaning lady, that guy under the bridge, Paul from accounting, AND Aunt Shirley... we're coming up empty' headline of the week. Boeing's CEO search is not going well

• In our '150% laser focused double pinky promise we won't do it again' headline of the week. Exxon Suit Over Activist Investor’s Climate Proposal Is Dismissed

• In our 'Recent surveys suggest workers prefer an 8 day work week' headline of the week. Greece is moving some workers toward a 6-day workweek

• In our 'Dana White is also a horrible idea' headline of the week. Trump says he proposed a 'migrant league of fighters' to UFC head Dana White: 'It's not the worst idea I've ever had'

• In our 'All the meetings will be conducted on mute for all parties, as well' headline of the week. Microsoft Brags That With the Powers of AI, You'll Be Able to Attend Three Meetings at the Same Time

DAMION2

Nuggets

1. In our 'Leon Hess' son John said, "This is one small step for man, one giant leap for nepo-baby-man."' headline of the week. Hess CEO to join Goldman Sachs board as independent director

2. In our 'Wait, so let me get this straight. You're telling me that the guy who founded the company and controls over 70% of the vote renewed his own contract to keep being CEO of his own company that is named after him and you think this is worthy of an actual news article? After you write that story, could you please meet with our new AI HR Bot we just contracted from OpenAI named the Meka-Downsizing Optimization Reducer HZ-5000 at 5pm tomorrow? ' headline of the week. Madison Square Garden Entertainment Renews CEO James Dolan's Contract for Three More Years

3. In our 'I think we found the next CEO of Boeing!' headline of the week. Wendy’s Says Its AI Only Screws Up 14 Percent of Drive-Through Orders 

4. In our 'Middle school bully's punishment dismissed after victim promises to stop eating lunch at school' headline of the week. ESG round-up: Exxon lawsuit dismissed after Arjuna promises to stop filing at firm

5. In our 'Did you hear that Ari the Data Queen is vacationing on a remote Japanese island this week?' headline of the week. Decades' worth of EV battery metals found off remote Japan island 

MATT2

Nuggets

• In our 'Science is awesome' headline of the week. Gilead Shot Provides Total Protection From HIV in Trial of Young African Women

• In our 'Science is awesome' headline of the week. We Bought This Bread in April. It Still Looks Fine.

• In our 'If not three board seats, how about just one?  How about we settle on an advisory role of some kind?  Or maybe I can take notes at your next meeting?  Can I have a glass of orange juice?  How about just water?  What if I just take the disposable cup?  Good, it's settled - I'm putting out a press release announcing our acquisition of one of your breakroom paper cups.' headline of the week. Vivek Ramaswamy meets with BuzzFeed CEO amid push for board seats

• In our 'For every vote you cast, we are now offering you the ability to get an ice cream, at your expense, at a local ice cream establishment of your choosing that you drive to and purchase!' headline of the week. National Harris Poll Finds 76% of Retail Investors More Likely to Vote Their Proxy If Offered a Shareholder Perk

• In our 'Man hires self' headline of the week. Madison Square Garden Entertainment Renews CEO James Dolan's Contract for Three More Years

DAMION3​​ 

Data Throwdown

Activist Starboard Value demands Autodesk explain accounting, financial issues

1. Activist investor Starboard Value sent a letter to Autodesk’s board demanding more clarity and accountability around an internal probe that led to the reassignment of the software company’s CFO.

2. Starboard, which has a more than $500 million stake in the company, wrote that it was “lunacy” that shareholders had not been told which executives were behind an effort to mislead investors about the company’s free cash flow numbers.

3. The activist wrote that either Autodesk executives withheld the truth from the board and should be dismissed, or that Autodesk’s board was aware of the financial misreporting and should resign.

4. Pop Quiz: How many of Autodesk’s 11 directors are listed with “Financial” expertise in their 2024 proxy statement?

1. “Nominees who have knowledge of financial markets, financing operations, and accounting and financial reporting processes assist us in understanding, advising, and overseeing our capital structure, financing and investing activities, and our financial reporting and internal controls.”

2. All 11 of them!

1. Including CEO Andrew Anagnost. Who holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering from California State University, Northridge, and holds both an MS in Engineering Science and a PhD in Aeronautical Engineering and Computer Science from Stanford University

2. And Audit Committee member Ayanna Howard, who is an entrepreneur and expert in robotics, human-computer interaction, and artificial intelligence. Since March 2021, Dr. Howard has served as Dean of the College of Engineering at The Ohio State University. She is also a tenured professor in the college’s Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering with a joint appointment in Computer Science and Engineering

3. To be fair, here’s another pop quiz: how many of Autodesk’s 11 directors were previously CFOs? 4! Including Betsy Rafael, the company’s former Interim CFO and former Audit Committee Chair! That feels like a lot.

4. But do shareholders actually care who is on the board at Autodesk? THe short answer is most likely: NO! Average support of 98% over the past 3 years.

5. And finally: “Starboard also believes that Autodesk spends too much on sales and marketing compared with its peers” Is this true? Maybe, but not overwhelmingly

1. Autodesk (Sales and Marketing) 5%/4%

2. Palantir Technologies 2%/5% 

3. Dassault Systèmes 0%/4%

4. Workday 1%/5%

5. Atlassian Corporation 2%/5%

6. Roper Technologies 6%/1%

MATT3

Data Throwdown

Top five companies NOT using their math skills

Methodology - 

1. Count the percentage of the board with mathematics expertise based on prior roles, titles, industry experience - these are math nerds

2. Add the percentage influence they control

3. Subtract influence and body count - how underutilized is the math skill?

• CellaVision AB

• -14%

• Genky DrugStores Co., Ltd.

• -16%

• METROPOLITAN BANK & TRUST CO.

• -22%

• ADEIA INC.

• -24%

• LATAM Airlines Group S.A.

• -66%