BIZ NUGGETS: Boeing loses a wing, Wayfair’s “great” layoffs, Elon’s tunnel ooze, Toyota’s “unexpected movement”, and Norfolk’s “board”

Live from the room right before you go into the board room, it’s an all-new terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants. Joined as always by Analyst-Hole Matt Moscardi! In today’s socially responsible tote bag of Larry Fink-sized bobbleheads called February 27, 2024: biz nuggets!

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps

DAMION1

1. In our 'At least it wasn't a Boeing. Actually it was… a Boeing 757-200. No I said at least it wasn't a Boeing 757-300' headline of the week. Boston-bound flight from San Francisco forced to divert to Denver after plane's wing came apart midair

1. In our 'Is it too late to pivot to selling carrots? Or how about just broccoli? Generative AI Tomatoes?' headline of the week. Beyond Meat launches new, healthier version of burger in bid to bring back customers 

1. In our 'Does this mean Europeans have to stop making fun of obese Americans?Or does this mean they are going to make fun of them more? What does the financial data say?' headline of the week. Ozempic and Wegovy sales are so hot they're powering Denmark's GDP

1. In our 'Boat company isn't liable for getting passengers to Nantucket' headline of the week. Snapchat isn’t liable for connecting 12-year-old to convicted sex offenders

1. In our 'It's really going to do wonders for my CEO Pay Ratio' headline of the week. Wayfair CEO says laying off workers has turned out great 

1. Wayfair CEO Niraj Shah wrote in a letter to shareholders — co-signed by co-founder and co-chairman Steve Conine

MATT1

1. In our 'What if we call it "Sexy Sustainable Adjacent Growth Portfolio"?  Or "We have some black women value fund"? Still mislabelled?  Fine, how about "Sustainalytics gave it a 74 out 12 globes fund"?  NAILED IT.' headline of the week. Crackdown on fund mislabelling: New ESG fund name guidelines on the horizon - Norton Rose Fulbright

2. In our 'Sorry, there's no cattle in your area right now so the price for this burger is $34.99.  But you can upgrade to a Black XL burger for just $7 more.' headline of the week. Wendy’s will try surge pricing for burgers

3. In our 'We have a strict "no petting the tunnel wall" policy here, please stay in your vehicle until after the traffic jam has stopped' headline of the week. Elon Musk’s Tunnel Reportedly Oozing With Skin-Burning Chemical Sludge

4. In our 'We've started our descent into Austin where the weather is delightful.  Please disconnect your phones from the power source while we're landing.  Flight attendants, please prepare for landing and disconnect our safety measures.' headline of the week. Boeing safety 'disconnect' ripped in scathing report accusing rank and file of covering up quality issues for fear of retaliation

5. In our '"Prior to the reconstitution of the Board, members of our Board leadership met with shareholders owning more than 50% of the Company’s stock to understand their perspectives on our business strategy and leadership. The dominant view of those shareholders was that the Company should do whatever was necessary to secure Rick Dreiling’s services as the Company’s top executive for a multiyear period. Rat safety is our primary concern."' headline of the week. Family Dollar has agreed to pay $42 million after storing food and medicine in a warehouse with a severe rodent infestation

DAMION 2

1. In our 'Hey Ma, it's 7:30, your new favorite show is on: Disingenuous Gobbledygook CEO Bullshit hosted by Jimmy Fallon, Tell Dad!' headline of the week. Uber CEO says the company took its drivers 'for granted'

1. Dara Khosrowshahi

1. In our 'At a company that has never been profitable, do you think the typo itself will be the employee of the month?' headline of the week. Lyft CEO apologizes for the typo that sent the company's stock up 67%

1. In our 'What about Kanye?' headline of the week. Google Shuts Down AI Image Generator After It Made "Racially Diverse Nazis

1. In our 'This room is only big enough for ONE 'insane racist, anti-civilizational program'' headline of the week. Elon Musk is accusing Google of running 'insane racist, anti-civilizational programming' with its AI 

1. In our 'Hi, I'm Jay. Does anyone know where I parked my time-traveling Delorean?' headline of the week. Meet the Former CFO Who Thinks He Can Fix Disney

MATT2

1. In our 'It's almost as if the people DON’T matter.' headline of the week. Only about 1 in 20 young voters said Taylor Swift's endorsement might sway their 2024 vote: poll

2. In our 'It's almost as if the people DO matter' headline of the week. Citi is betting big on high-profile executives to turn things around

3. In our 'Canon’s 100% male board has announced it will keep its clothes ON for the duration of the quarter' headline of the week. 1,000-year-old 'Naked Man' festival ends due to Japan's aging population

1. Average age of 74 - second oldest in Japan!

4. In our 'Firmware update alert: version 12.3972b includes the following updates - brakes that work.' headline of the week. Toyota to recall 280,663 vehicles in US on concerns over unexpected movement, says NHTSA

1. 92% male board!  Average age 71!  Fifth oldest in Japan!

In our 'Failure recommends failure for future failure' headline of the week. Norfolk Southern files preliminary proxy statement, recommends shareholders vote for its director nominees