BIZ NUGGETS: Boeing fails audits, Blackrock’s engagement “resource constraints”, Altman is back on top

Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only ESG data platform to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps

DAMION1

1. In our 'What was the classic joke again? Gun to your head would you rather fly in a Boeing jet or in an Airbus jet where the pilots are both asleep?' headline of the week. A plane flew for 28 minutes with both pilots asleep

1.  Airbus A320

1. In our 'CEO Dave Calhoun was overheard rocking himself to sleep repeating 'what about the other fucking 56? what about the other fucking 56?'' headline of the week. Boeing failed 33 out of 89 audits during FAA examination

1. In our 'CEO Dave Calhoun was overheard rocking himself to sleep repeating 'what about the 3 other fucking tires? what about the 3 other fucking tires?'' headline of the week. See the moment a United Airlines Boeing 777 loses a tire just after takeoff

1. In our 'CEO Dave Calhoun was overheard rocking himself to sleep repeating 'I told them to use fucking Palmolive! I told them to use fucking Palmolive!'' headline of the week. The FAA found staff at Boeing's supplier using liquid Dawn soap as lubricant for a 737 Max door seal

1. In our 'Where did you last see it?' headline of the week. Boeing tells senator it can't find work record for door panel that blew out on Alaska Airlines flight: 'We have looked extensively'

1. In our 'The Boeing board said, 'Don't ask me, I'm independent'' headline of the week. Boeing whistleblower who warned of aircraft safety flaws found dead

1. In our 'I told you to say 'so big they can fit eight Airbus A320s, you dummy' headline of the week. Oracle said its data centers are getting so big they can fit eight Boeing 747s

MATT1

1. In our 'Resources include: willingness, desire, caring, wanting to, and c'mooooon man' headline of the week. BlackRock stewardship head warns of 'resource constraints' for engagements

2. In our 'A fart in the church of sustainable investing... no? Ok, how about a door plug in a Boeing plane of ESG?  OK, try, a resource constraint to engagement?' headline of the week. The Anti-ESG lobby: A speed bump on the road to sustainable investment, not a roadblock

3. In our '"Norfolk Southern announces Sir Dr. Christopher Jones, Esq as Knight Templar in charge of toxic cleanup given his recent completion of the SUNY Purchase online class 'So you spilled your chemicals' and knighthood by the Freemasons of Troy Ohio this year"' headline of the week. The governance data that can impress investors – and why

4. In our 'Norfolk Southern claimed the cost of the spill was a headwind on the road to casual indifference, but the spill would be paid for with funds from the Sir Dr. Christopher Jones scholarship fund for resource constraints' headline of the week. Norfolk Southern has to pay for cleanup of fiery Ohio train derailment all by itself, federal judge rules

5. In our 'The dogs, however, have a keen smell for bullshit and are currently monitoring Norfolk Southern's board on a full time basis' headline of the week. Ohio’s legalization of marijuana is putting nearly 400 police dogs out of work who can’t unlearn the smell of weed

DAMION2

1. In our 'We fired the women on the board that tried to fire you and then replaced them with three other women who hopefully you like better, is there anything else you need? Another brown sugar oat milk cappuccino?' headline of the week. OpenAI has 'full confidence' in CEO Sam Altman after investigation reveals he was fired as a “consequence of a breakdown in the relationship and loss of trust” between him and the prior board

1. In our 'Does anybody know how to fire Spain? Is Spain a woman?' headline of the week. Spain tells Sam Altman, Worldcoin to shut down its eyeball-scanning orbs

1. In our 'Does anybody know how to fire the State Department? Is the State Department a woman? Whatever, as long as she has no deep expertise in AI like our three new  women-washing directors' headline of the week. State Department-Commissioned Report Warns AI Could Be an 'Extinction-Level' Threat

1. Instacart CEO Fidji Simo (former VP of Video, Games, and Monetization at Facebook; MBA)

2. Lawyer Nicole Seligman (formerly of Sony; defended Oliver North after he illegally laundered arms sales 

3. Sue Desmond-Hellmann, the former CEO of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and medical doctor who was the president of product development at Genetech

1. And finally… In our 'Who needs The Onion when you have real life?' headline of the week. CEO Dies When Her Tesla Drives Into a Pond

1. Angela Chao, who was CEO of the Chinese shipping firm Foremost Group and the youngest sister of Sen. Mitch McConnell's wife Elaine

2. Tesla’s  laminated glass is near impossible to break underwater ;the door also features a hidden mechanical door pull

3. Suicide by Dergulation

MATT2

1. In our '"Elon" currently autocorrects to "Ahole", what's the problem again?' headline of the week. ‘I am not a typo’ campaign urges tech giants to correct their autocorrect systems in the name of inclusivity

2. In our 'Hey Ma, the Jews are worse than Chiner, tell Dad!' headline of the week. Trump says without TikTok, 'Facebook and Zuckerschmuck will double their business'

3. In our 'Linda Alvarado, who was on the 3M board for 17 years and on the nomination committee, announces her friend Greg Swienton from the Lennox International board really loved sitting on L3Harris with William Brown, so they hired him' headline of the week. 3M to appoint William Brown as CEO

4. In our 'Sam Altman responded, "that definitely wasn't me."' headline of the week. AI Company Defends Robot After It's Accused of Groping Woman On Camera

5. In our 'Sam Altman Rejoins the OpenAI Board, responds, "That one definitely might be me."' headline of the week. State Department-Commissioned Report Warns AI Could Be an 'Extinction-Level' Threat